Gyaan

Different ways of showing love

“Kriti, yeh le, phailana mat” [“Kriti, take this, don’t spill it”], says my brother each time we take a detour to have a tender coconut and he hands me over a coconut in the car.

Is it just an instruction to annoy me or does he not trust me on how I’d handle the coconut water? It would always irritate me to hear those framed instructions everytime I’d step out of the house - “jaldi aa jaana” [“come soon”]; or when my parents would hand me a glass of warm water - “sambhaalke” [“careful”] or when I’d rush when late - “aaraam se” [“chill”], until I heard my friend’s mom tell her the same in Marathi - “lavkar ye”, “saambhaadun”, “aaraamatun”. (It’s funny how we fail to observe and appreciate things in first-person)

My dad once told me that his mother always advised him to drive carefully even when he was 40 and had two children, one of whom was about to become legally old enough to drive. That was not to annoy him for sure - what joy would my grandma be getting by repeating the same advice for 20+ years? And dad had been a heavy driver all that time, so why instruct, that too when grandma herself didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, let alone drive a four-wheeler?

I think it’s the care in it’s most default version. They wouldn’t say that to an Uber driver (unless the driver's actually winging it) even though they’re a stakeholder in that situation.

Love is such a complex concept, and especially, Indian Love - it really can be so irritating at times! But, it’s caring deeply.

I remember not hugging my family until I was like 21, but I always heard these little instructions, which I’ve started to take warmly nowadays. I hope you do too! After all, it's brown families we're talking about, you have no option anyways XD

Take up more space!

Taking physical space in this world is directly proportional to the happiness one induces. So, dance a lot more than little.

Ending my Sikkim Solo Trip

It's 17th October 2025. I started my trip on the morning of the 10th, my birthday.

I am tired with all the sunlight there has been since yesterday, and the weight I'm carrying today. But it's okay, this is nothing that I haven't done before.

You know, on this trip, I didn't feel the butterflies or excitement at any point, sadly. Maybe because it was a known terrain - all of it - a language I'd heard before and could make sense of; a weather I had once borne and was more than prepared to bear again; a landscape my eyes were used to seeing, and anyway, I came here just for a specific landscape - the blue skies, the snow-ladden mountains perimetered with green tin army barracks. Even the fellow solo traveller I met felt very familiar - an engineer who backpacked twice a year and smoked day and night.

Probably the only thing that felt new was stargazing. I learnt how to spot an Orion, and also that satellites and shooting stars are different. I hope the (Starlink) satellite I wished to fulfills my dream haha XD

However, I think this trip consolidated India for me. From Ahmedabad to Kohima, from Manali to Trivandrum, I've not just visited places, but also lived at some. Dal chawal is a constant everywhere. Marwaris and Baniyas are every-goddamn-where. Everyone is comfortable with Hindi (except probably in Bangalore XD) and the overall culture of hospitality is the same across India. So, yes, I do feel a little more connected to "my" land after my Sikkim trip.

I also learnt how to live by myself a little better. I talked to myself almost each time I walked and I didn't care what people thought. I learnt how one can just watch a movie and chill, although I couldn't put this lesson to use since I would just pass-out after a long day of travel. However, what matters is the fact that I can be independent - no boyfriends, no family, no social media, and probably no phones too.

Finally, there was a moment when I looked at those majestic light-reflecting mountains that had scratches of land and moss-covered rocks, with tears in my eyes, and I told myself: "If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere. All by myself. All, without a plan. Only an intense desire for something."

And now life will go on. I'll be an advisor on the Sikkim itinerary, a proud solo traveller, probably a little more content thinking about the little acts of kindness I was humbled with. I will miss the people I met and will try my best to stay in touch with them. Again, life will go on, perhaps with some more fuel of life.